The Writing Pathway

The Unblocking Of Self

2010-12-11T23:02:00.000-08:00

Desperately I have tried to get back into the saddle with my writing, after having been diverted away by the demands of smallholding life. Or rather, I allowed myself to become diverted. I was in full flow with a 20, 000 word book, with the words tumbling out at a steady pace, late last Winter. And then Spring arrived, seducing me with its desire to start things growing in the garden. So I left behind my writing pathway and off out into the garden I went, growing pots of seeds, digging, and planting, and watering, and so on.

Then the animals started arriving, pulling me even further away from my writing pathway. And I allowed it to happen, that is what is most frustrating, although I kept up with blogging, but even slowing down with that.

And so my writing creativity grew rusty. Unused, my vocabulary shrank.

But I didn't forget the writing. Just kept putting it off. Meanwhile, I tried to keep on with the editing of Psychic Toolbox. It was useless. So I put that to one side as well.

Winter has arrived once more, and with it the long days inside. The garden still calls, but I can switch off its demands because of the cold. We are getting used to farm life as well, so I have more time-gaps.

And I have realised that without the writing I am not who I am meant to be. So I have made a super duper effort to climb back into the saddle, and I am making a promise to myself to keep on sitting in that saddle and not let myself dismount at all.

And I have realised that I cannot write from my head alone. What I mean is, that to have any sort of word flow I have to be balanced and calm in myself, which is a really difficult state of mind for me to achieve.

So this morning I decided to make time for a meditation. This I have to do if I am going to keep riding along my writing pathway. And for the first time in an age, I woke up this morning with a 'writing sentence' in my head. It is to do with the synopsis of Psychic Toolbox, which I am having difficulty in writing. But at least the edits are done at last. Hopefully I can now pick up the word flow for that shorter book, which is to be a free download.

So, tapping away.......and hoping you are moving along your creative pathway at a cracking pace as well!

Ho Hum Part Two

2010-07-22T23:49:00.000-07:00

I have completely fallen out of the saddle with writing since I last posted. Other things seem to be pulling me away. But perhaps it is avoidance. Writing is not something which I can plan. The words either arrive in my head or I don't. But first I have to make the effort to want to write, and sometimes making that effort, is well, just too much effort.

However, I have become quite down in myself as a result. As if part of myself is missing. And so I seek out this part of myself which is hidden. The writing self. That self which is the best of me.

Meanwhile, needing to keep a record of our work here makes me write the blogs, keeps me engaged with the art of writing. I think this is a good way to keep in touch with the writing self when other words do not seem to want to come. Even making comments on other people's blogs helps keep in touch with the word flow.

But I think that probably September is favourite for starting writing again. When the year is winding down perhaps I will be able to rev up!

Ho Hum

2010-03-27T12:48:00.000-07:00

Being a proper writer one must have the courage to look at one's work in a constructive manner, and know when one has not put forth the message that one aspired to make at the start of the current tome.

In other words, major rewrite under way as I recognise that I am way off base with Psychic Toolbox. Ho hum. It is far too dreary a read, and needs perking up a hell of a lot. Ho hum.

Help, I need an editor

2010-03-27T00:53:00.000-07:00

Boiling with impatience, I am plugging my way through the final edit on 'Psychic Toolbox'. Having to read the text, then change what needs to be changed is damned hard. Always I have to avoid the tendency to start re-writing it, and focus on the job in hand which is to get it reading smoothly. But just changing one word in a sentence because I have already used it a few words previously can throw out the whole sentence, and sometimes the whole paragraph, so I have to be careful of what I alter.

Also I have found a difficulty with reading and editing in the same space, which is up at my PC, because my mind gets fogged up after a while. I want to get this edit done, so am finding it easier to read the book and mark up the errors whilst lolloping on my settee in the house, then back to the PC for the actual changes. Takes longer, but my mind doesn't get so tired.

Psychic Virgin: Have finally finished reformatting PV and have uploaded it to Smashwords, who have converted it so it can be read on many ebook readers, and am waiting to see if it will be accepted for their ebook listings.

Smashwords have an interesting philosphy, which is let the reader read up to fifty percent of the book before purchase. I think this is an excellent idea. In a book shop I would browse a book before purchase, and this is doing the same thing. I already post up chunks of the books on the website, and I have made available at Lulu a couple of chapters.

Wasn't particularly fussed about ebooks and ebook readers in the beginning, but after browsing the listings at Smashwords, I am beginning to see the value to this new technology. I don't think books will ever cease to be, but I think that ebooks will share their space as well in the future.

Ok, so back to the editing task,.....

Formatting frazzle

2010-03-21T02:41:00.000-07:00

Psychic Toolbox update: It arrived a couple of weeks ago from Lulu. Doesn't look too bad. Cover OK. Matches the first book. Have a feeling that all these covers will be reworked at some point in the future, preferably by someone else! Now for the next stage of re-reading and re-editing. Won't be as bad as the first, Psychic Virgin, though. It is shorter, and less complicated. Writing about one's life in a funny way so one's reader is not bored out of their skull, well, it was a supremely difficult task.

And I have been putting off further publishing work with PV, and let it dawdle away at Lulu and Amazon, not doing much at the moment but then I knew it would take a time to get going. My stumbling block has been getting to grips with the ebook formula. Lulu will convert the text to ebook format, but you have to pay if you want it go out on a wide range of readers. Anyway, I have got it out on Lulu's pdf reading service, which is free, and I think it can be read on Sony readers now, as well as on PC's.

And then I found a website called 'Smashwords', which gave a very helpful description of what I needed to do to get the text of PV into the right format for conversion to the various ebook formats. Now all I have to do is undo ALL the formatting I did for the book form of PV.

Flip me, but that was the biggest of stumbling blocks for me: how to format a book. Which means getting headers running through the book which are in the right sequence, as well as the page numbers. Then there is the Table of Contents to do. And the long task of making sure the script looks right on each page. Using page breaks in the right place. And trying to be very tidy with the general look of the book.

All that goes out of the window with ebook formatting. I have had to delete all that previous book formatting from the script and start over again. Apparently the text has to float according to the type of reader which is being used to view the book, so there can't be any line breaks, no faddly fonts, nothing fancy, just plain text written in Word. And I can't make the individual pages look tidy by sculpting the text into an attractive shape, which is something which took ages to do when working on the book format.

Funnily enough, it took quite a load off me, not having to give the page a 'good look'. I felt like I was handing that responsibility over to my reader, who can then play around with the look of the book themself. Apparently the font and the line spacing can be changed on a reader.

So, I have spent a couple of days reformatting PV into the format required at Smashbooks, who then convert it to formats suitable for a wide range of readers. And it is a free service, like Lulu, and they take commission if you sell your ebook through them. I really like this site, it is easy to follow, and the instuctions clearly given. To be recommended.

A bit of a shock with PV. On reformatting it for Smashbooks, I realised that the edition I OK'd with Lulu for distribution was not the actual edition I had worked on last. I had changed the first chapter's first page. But I had shipped out to Lulu a previous edit. Ooops! For a moment I felt a chill run up and down my spine! But on reading that original front page, then re-reading my newer edit, I realised that the original was the better one to go with. So, not to worry. But I think some re-edited typos might have gone through as well. Good job I make an apology for this in the preface pages: I say that I am a cottage industry type of book because I have done all the work on it myself, and that I apologise for any errors which might have escaped the net.

I hope, in the future, to have someone read the books for such errors, but I can't afford the services of such a person at the moment, so I have to manage as best I can. The same as I can't afford a graphic artist for the coverwork, but hopefully in the future that will change. I don't mind doing the editing and graphic work, but it burns up time.

Have nearly finished the formatting for Smashwords, and will upload in a day or so. Meanwhile, on to re-editing PT, and am also writing a 20,000 word ebook, possibly to also go to a book if it is not too small for Lulu to publish as such.

Well, that's all for now. I would have liked to have given more info about ebook formatting versus book formatting, but time ran out on me. I hope you are continuing to be inspired with your own writing, and that you don't give up despite the many setbacks that one can suffer whilst trying to stay on the writing pathway.

Waiting for the post

2010-02-20T02:13:00.000-08:00

Pushed through with Psychic Toolbox, finally managing to get the cover graphics in reasonable order, then clicking my way through the Lulu processes and the click: Done! Up on the screen comes this message: congratulations! You have just published your book!

Only it is not quite as simple as that, because now I need to see what the book looks like in print, so have ordered a copy. And the peculiar thing is that now it has reached this stage I seem to have become detached from it, which is the same thing which happened with my first book. It's like I haven't actually written it but someone else has. Odd that.

Anyway, waiting for the post now. Meanwhile, I was going to crack on with the third book in the series but my mind kept on having other ideas coming in, to do with writing a tarot card instruction book. This one is a free ebook or pdf download, and is about 20,000 words long.

And the thrill of starting off a new project, and seeing the word count rise. At 1,600 words, there is a long way to go yet.

Although the subject I write about may not be a topic you wish to explore, I hope the fact that I am self publishing acts as an inspiration to you. And one of the things I am learning, is that you need to establish a raft of work, some of which has to be free downloads, so that your potential reader can engage with who you are as a person. That if you have just one book done, then that is likely to become submerged along with all the other millions of books which are on the market. But if you keep on building a portfolio of work, and also build a good sized web site to go with it giving plenty of info about who you are and why you do what you do, then this will ultimately build a following.

I am not so sure about only using the blogging route, as that is time consuming. I tend to write these blogs as a diary for me to look back on to see how far I have come, and it would seem that if you want loads of followers on the blog then you have to invest acres of time in visiting everyone else's blogs, which is minimizing your writing time. So I tend to come and go with my blogs, but I do value people when they visit me and I do go visit them although don't always have the time to leave a comment.

I think that a website would be heftier to do than a blog, but it would tidy up your writing work and make it more see-able for your reader. That is what I think, anyway. And you could always build a theme upon which to sit your work. Someone I know has built the theme of an old castle/house for their website, inserts blogs into certain 'rooms' and writes in association with the theme. For myself, I have a professional website which the books I write support, and when I move on to other subjects, such as smallholding and novels, then Labartere.com will be the vehicle for those books, the 'Snippet' blog being the foundation for that project.

So while I wait for my post to arrive, I hope I have 'posted' some ideas into your mind!

Mental constipation, Paintshop, PV & PT.

2010-02-10T02:57:00.000-08:00

My writing pathway seems to have been suffering from constipation of late, perhaps because the weather has been cold and damp, which is most unlike our usual weather here and reminds my bones of UK winters. That, plus some background worries about my mum, and the taking of certain decisions in regards to the ongoing development of Labartere, had robbed me of all writing momentum.

So then I got bored! Took myself in hand, and got myself back into the saddle. Did some ongoing link checking with my Aspects of Self website, and managed to re-edit one of the pages which needed doing. Simple stuff really. Just to ease my mind away from day-to-day stuff.

Psychic Toolbox and Psychic Virgin time: the problem is that all I want to do is write, but being a self publisher I have to deal with all the other stuff which a publisher, editor, and agent would do, which also has contributed to this blocking effect. Always I am breaking new ground with myself, learning new skills, which quite frankly can get rather tiring, even though keeping me mentally stimulated at the same time.

Ebooks. Hit a wall with Lulu in regards to getting the cover into shape. Assumed that all I would have to do is use the same cover as the book, but no. Lulu assumes that an ebook is a completely different unit of work to the original book, so wants a cover done. But Lulu doesn't let you have access to the 'Design a book cover' wizard, so all you have is an inhouse cover which will be the same as everyone elses, or you can submit your own, but it has to be all the cover.

Now my original cover for PV was designed via the wizard, so is not 'all of a piece'. What I mean is that I don't seem to be able to convert that cover over as a whole unit for the ebook. So: off into the Internet I went, researching 'how to make an ebook cover'. Then off into Paintshop to have a go, and then stopped, as have to become more familiar with Paintshop before I can go any further. More learning needed.

PT: all re-writing done, now need to do the cover. Since PT is part of the Psychic Virgin series of five books in total, I want to keep a theme running. Did the very simple graphic for PV in Word autoshapes, and Tech Team Guy Husband did some magic stuff which neither of us can remember, and into the Lulu wizard it went without a hitch.

So did the same for PT. Jiggled about with the same graphic, called Hubs over and he pressed the 'PrtScm Sys Rq' button on the PC, opened Paintshop, right clicked mouse over blank screen, accepted 'paste in as new image' offer, and up came the recently copies graphic complete with all the Windows toolbars as well.

On to side toolbar of Paintshop, hit the 'selection' button, then over to the graphic, put a square around the graphic, then up to top bar, Image > crop to selection. This fetched up with all the Windows stuff gone and a nice little box with the graphic neatly inserted inside. Saved as a 'png'.

Over to Lulu wizard. Uploaded graphic. Same process as before, but now error keeps appearing. Image too large. So back to Paintshop and reduce the image. Repeat process several times but still Lulu coming back with image too large. Gave up in the end. Ignore the red triangle boldy sitting on the cover warning me that the graphic might be hazy when printed, hoping that the magic fairy would come along and make it alright somehow.

Rest of cover didn't take too long. Used the same fonts as PV, similar layout although not exactly the same in regards to font spacings because the overall look of the cover needs to be right as far as I can judge. At some point in the future, when all the books are done, then I will improve the covers, but for the time being....well, this is a cottage industry book so will do it the best I can then leave alone.

Onto the back cover....posted up a photo of myself, believing that my (possible) reader needs to see the person behind the name. Prefer to choose photos which represent who I am in real life, so no 'spit and polish' photos with loads of make-up and tidily coiffured hair. And definitely no studio-type poses. Just me, happy-snappying with my camera, usually capturing myself looking windswept and therefore vaguely untidy. The photo for this cover was a happy-snappy done by my daughter. There were four of us crammed close together to get us all in the picture, and we were leaning on a log.

And the thing is, that this photo, because it is not posed, goes with the rest of the cover, and the contents therein. It is home made.

Now all I have to do is the blurb for the back cover........ oh dear, have a tad of avoidance creeping into me as I feel the urge to go take the dogs out for a walk! But at least I am not mentally constipated, which is a blessing!

Darkness

2010-02-08T13:24:00.001-08:00

This is a writing exercise, posted up on Verbal Verbosity (see sidebar link) and is a great way to exercise the mind. You have 100 words in which to write a piece, and the title of this week's exercise is: Darkness.

DARKNESS: (a conversation between a man and a woman)

"Do you love me?" she says.

Demanding, desperate, difficult woman.

"Always" I say.

Attentiveness away, all away, as acrid amour arrives.

"Remember you are mine" she purrs.

"Kitten, of course, forever" I say.

Kindred soul wanted. Kerb crawling tonight.

Kinkyness needed, kissssssssssssEsssssssssss-know-where?

"No. Now. Need you" she whispers.

Need nurturing.

Nothing otherwise.

"Everything you are to me" I say.

Enthusiastically evading the efficient emotional manipulation.

"So, see you soon?" she half-pleads.

"See you soon" I say.

Sending you out in into the darkness,

seeing you fade into the darkness of my past,

as I go off out into the darkness myself.

The Introduction: My Psychic Toolbox

2010-01-21T00:12:00.000-08:00

The introduction is put in the first section of the book, and needs to give the reader a flavour of what the book is all about. This I find hard to do, my first attempts usually being a description about the book which makes for a boring read.

So: My Psychic Toolbox: have been stuck for the last few days with The Introduction. Have finished the editing of the Pdf downloaded from Lulu, just the intro to read. Oh direness set upon me as I found it to be dull. Couldn't get some sparkle into it at all, which was irritating in that I am nearly ready to upload to Lulu again.

But: Yippeee! Woke up early this morning with the words: 'This is how it is for me when I am being psychic' and knew them to be the opening words. Launching myself out of bed I grabbed at a pen and paper and wrote those words down, knowing that they would evaporate away into nothingness if this wasn't done. Once dressed, straight onto the PC I went, and not allowing myself to deviate away into checking emails or Internet surfing, into MPT I went and out the words came. Phew!

I am not saying that I have done a fantastic job of The Intro, nor that I am a fantastic creator of words, but I am satisfied that I have done my best to reflect the book and that is all I can do. Upload to Lulu this afternoon, then onto the book cover stage.

I find it useful to write this diary blog, because it pushes me on. Thanks for reading, and if you are a creator of words, or photos, or anything, then I hope your creative flow is at full speed today.

ebooks?

2010-01-15T02:49:00.000-08:00

Next step in the self publishing saga. Can't rest on my posterior now. Need to keep pushing forward. There is no publishing house taking doing this for me, taking the marketing, etc, off my shoulders. Trouble is that I am not a person who can 'sing my own song'. What I mean is, that I find it difficult to sell myself. But then I am not actually selling me, am I! I am staying in faith with a book I have written and formatted the best I can, although it will still have a 'home grown' look because it is a cottage industry book.

So: ebook time. Inspired by Hubs who is a Tech guy, and enthuses endlessly about what ebook reader he is going to purchase when the roofs of our house are paid for. (Snippets, my other blog, for more info about roofs: payment for!)

Onto Lulu again: Publish button clicked onto: Email section entered. Since book already loaded onto Lulu, files should be available. Then I got stuck. Couldn't find a button which said 'Next>>>>>' So thought I would write to you instead!

But did find out some good info about Kindle, Amazon's ebook service, and Lulu's ebook service. Even though Lulu 'owns' the ISBN of Psychic Virgin because France doesn't have a 'Buy your own ISBN' service and I can't have a UK bought one because I don't live in the UK anymore, it does not make any difference to publishing an ebook with any other service provider. Kindle and Lulu are also marketing houses, so it makes sense to convert Psychic Virgin into ebook formats with both companies.

Now all I have to do is fiddle about with the Lulu ebook process, then do some more fiddling about with the Kindle ebook process, then I am done!

And all I wanted to do was write a book to inspire others to follow their own star!

Thankyou www.ifunbusiness.com for imparting some of the info above.

Amazon's got it!

2010-01-13T21:50:00.000-08:00

The title of this post was going to be 'A Brick Wall', the theme being that I was bang up against a wall and couldn't seem to find a doorway through. After having finished the read-through of My Psychic Toolbox, then the wall banged up infront of me. Effort seemed to have expired.

And then it came into my head to investigate batteries. Why? Because my new camera gobbles up batteries so Internet search to find out why this is. I need the camera for certain aspects of my work, and also for my other blogs.

Through a round about route I fetched up on Amazon. And a thought: would Psychic Virgin be posted up yet? But since other people I have read about complain that Amazon take forever to post their books up (normally up to six weeks), and since it was only about three weeks ago that I authorized Lulu to send it to Amazon, then chances are that it isn't going to be posted.

It is. Posted up with millions of other books hosted by that web site. A tiny little fish in the hugest of oceans. Engage your head with worrying about whether it is ever going to be seen by anyone, and you will get depressed and possibly give up with writing. So what you have to do is get busy with other projects to keep you moving forward. This I am trying to do. Then the brick wall effect hit me.

How do I feel about seeing PV up on Amazon? First of all, surprised that it had been posted so fast. Second, that the cover is not quite right, but something inside me is telling me that it is a temporary cover anyway, so not to worry. At least it looks original and not mass produced. Thirdly, that I am pleased that people can get inside the book and have a look at a sample of content. Not being able to do so would prevent me from purchasing a book, and I don't want anyone to buy the book without first seeing if it is something they are comfortable with reading.

And I have the tiniest bit of nervous anticipation, like butterflies, in my tum. Crikey! I have made a book from start to finish and got it out to Amazon. I have a smile on my face as I write this. I am not thinking about the money I may or may not earn. After all, if one did focus on the money side then the writing would not be so good. Oh I could have written something which was more 'popular', but then I would have been prostituting my work because it would have lost its passion. Been soulless. It would not have made an impact on the reader, not lit a spark, not made a difference.

As in all times previously, when brick walls appear, something happens to disintegrate that wall. Inside of me I have a warmness that PV is Amazonned. Now all I have to do is research what the next step is....... will let you know how I get on with that, just in case you are hovering on the brink of that step into the big wide world of Amazon!

10 minutes later: Helful Hint: One of the things you don't need to do is go have a look to see where your actual placement is in the listings for your genre. Seeing how many other books are listed is likely to whoosh the wind out your sails! In your mind focus on your own book. Never mind about the others. Focus on the fact that the right person will find you. Send out positive thoughts to your book. It is, after all, your offspring. You created it. Now off into the world it is going to go, to do whatever it needs to do. Focus on that. Because if you don't, then despondency will set in and up a wall will go infront of you.

It is the doing which is important, the personal achievement.

The plod of yet another read-through

2010-01-03T01:50:00.000-08:00

So, My Psychic Toolbox has now been uploaded to Lulu, who have downloaded it back to me now in Pdf format. Now I have to read it through again. Which I have tendency to avoid doing. Because it is correcting errors, not writing. Therefore it is, quite frankly, boring. Now 'boring' is a word I never usually use, 'too much to do' being my preferred term generally. Not with 'reading through' it isn't.

One has to be alert all the times. Looking for escapees: little words missed out, like 'and' or 'the'. Or add-ons: like two of 'and' or two of 'the', or 's' tagged onto a word when it shouldn't be. This takes concentration. Previous read-throughs would have been more interesting. Then I would have been re-writing chunks of words which were not running smoothly, or which had been repeated elsewhere, and I would have been alert to repeating the same word too many times in a paragraph. Even the Big Read, when I have to go from start to finish in one hit which has to be my total focus for a couple of days so that I can see how the book flows through itself, is not too tedious.

But Pdf read-throughs are. Silly really, to sit on this stage in the process, but I do. I am, after all, nearly finished with the book. Yet I sit tightly in avoidance mode, wasting time.

So: Onto PC this morning. Got the Pdf file opened. Got my Word version opened. Plugged myself into my headphones, banged on some music (classical with no words, Tchaikovsky to start off with, Chopin later) and started reading the Pdf file, altering my Word copy when errors popped up. Managed 50 minutes before my brain became addled, so off for dog walk then back again, determined to not to avoid. Oh so why then am I chatting to you! Ooopss!

Ok, Ok, Ok! I'm going back to Pdf and Word!

The writing fright.

2010-01-02T00:31:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I write like I do? What is it that is inside of me and needs to spring out? Why can't I write at will? Why do I have to wait until I have a start-off sentence, or a title? Why can't I sit down and plan ahead as to what I am going to write?

For the last week I have been scatching around in my head trying to find something to write about for 'Snippets', my other blog. Nothing. Zilch. Empty. No words to be had anywhere in my head.

And then this morning the words posted themselves in: 'Hesitatingly stepping forward'. Having learnt in the past to act as quickly as possible and not allow myself to become diverted by other things, I managed to get the words written. But instead of feeling on top of the world because I had updated the blog, all I am left with is a feeling of....., well, .... almost of being frightened. What is this strange thing which makes me write? What is the driver? And why when the words are coming out do I feel engaged with a part of me which seems do be so different to my day to day self?

Also, if I don't write, then the days in between are not so good. I feel dull. Mentally devoid of energy. But when I do have the word flow it gives energy to my day.

It is not easy being a writer, a creator of words. And I don't even dare to think of myself as being clever, or gifted, or a better writer than everyone else. Therefore I really, really, do feel uncomfortable with the surge of words that come out. When they do. And I feel just as uncomfortable when the surge is not happening.

Why is this?

But one thing: I wouldn't change this. I wouldn't want it not to happen.

So: does this mean that I am a 'natural' writer? Or does it mean I lack discipline?

Or perhaps I should just be happy that I have times of word-flow, and be patient when I don't.

Or perhaps I should be less examining of myself, and say 'This is how it is for me' and accept that sometimes I can write, and sometimes I can't.

Anyway, thanks for listening, or rather 'reading'. It helps to talk things through sometimes.

www.Lulu.com

2009-12-25T23:23:00.000-08:00

Self publishing? It's a great way to get a book into print, although one has to be responsible for ALL of the book, not just the words, which means getting to grips with formatting: page numbers, headers, chapter titles being on the right side, etc. God bless the Internet for helping me find the info I needed, but it was an arduous learning curve and one which required of me much patience. Writing the book is a task in itself. Having to do the structure to hold the words was also a task in itself.

So Lulu is my route for self publishing, only because it was suggested to me ages ago when I was oblivious to there being such a thing as self publishing.

And here is what I had to do:

1) Write the book. I did it in Word.

2) Set up an account with Lulu, which is free. So far, having got one book completed as far as it can go for the moment, all I have had to pay out for is for the three copies I bought during the process of re-edits and the ISBN number which you have to have if you are going to sell publically through such sites as Amazon.

3) Upload the book. Lulu then obligingly converts it almost immediately to something called Pdf format. With a click of a button Lulu then downloads the book the Pdf formatted book via email, again almost immediately. (You have to have Pdf facilities on your PC). Then you save it into your files.

4) Now the task of re-reading. I open the Pdf file of the book and the Word file. I read the Pdf file, checking for writing and formatting errors. When I find an error, I open the Word file and make the alteration immediately.

5) Once I have altered the Word file copy of the book, I go back into Lulu and into my account. I delete the first upload, and upload the newly edited Word file of the book. Then 3 and 4 go round again. And again. But the errors become smaller as I go along, and actually are harder to pick up, and by this time I am finding the whole process tedious. So: time to let the book rest for a few weeks so it can eventually be tackled with a fresh mind again.

6) By the way, I put two files in the Lulu account: one carrying the front pages, which is the title, index, and other info pages. The second is the actual book itself. You could upload separate chapters as you go, but I think this is unwieldy, especially if you have loads of chapters.

7) So I get to the stage when I can go no further with the edits. So onto the book cover. I do this myself, and Lulu have a good book cover formatting section so you can do this. I think that having someone else to do the cover would be a good thing, but cost is an issue at the moment so I have to do the cover myself.

8) Then onto the next stage of costings, synopsis, etc.

9) All done! Now I have to purchase the book to have a look at it in its printed form. If you were fast tracking you could get your book, once written, actually into book form and held in your hands within two weeks depending on the speed of the post. But I think that is too fast. Taking time with each stage, and I took nearly a whole year because I was sidetracked away for several months during the re-reading stages plus I was a novice at self publishing, means that the book is likely to be of a better standard.

10) And that, briefly, is all that you have to do!

So: My Psychic Toolbox: Uploaded the two files yesterday, download has come back, which I have saved, and now onto the re-reading.

And: Psychic Virgin: My last copy for re-editing has just arrived, but I know that the book is done. So onto Lulu to verify that I was happy with the book, clicked a button, and off into the world it now goes. 6-8 weeks apparently to get onto Amazon, but it is useless to get impatient with the process. Best to get on with other projects meanwhile. Will have to look at how to get it noticed on Amazon, so God bless the Internet again for that info. Also going into ebook format, which is the way to go for books I think, mostly because it reduces the cost for people. So another project is looking at the ebook world of formatting.

Today I blessed my first offspring, and I thought of it trundling its way through the electronic networks, and it felt like it was leaving home. Like any parent with a grown child, I let it go. I had given birth to it, nurtured it, looked after it, watched it grow and take shape into its young adult form. Now it is time to let it take its place in the world to do whatever it is meant to do. And the odd thing is that if feels like it is its own self, as if it has its own life!

Wow!

The synopsis saga

2009-12-23T23:03:00.000-08:00

So the synopsis still isn't happening. I seem to be able to write other things, like the blogs, like responding to other people's blogs, but everytime I make an attempt to get the synopsis done I seem to freeze. Kapput! Mental shutdown in action.

And I am finding this SSSSsooooo frustrating. I am getting so cross at myself. So: up early again. 'Do Synopsis' time.

Nope. Not happening. Fiddling about doing other stuff instead.

But a crack of daylight suddenly appeared when I was browsing through old Psychic Virgin files. Poking about in the rejected synopsis pile for that book, of which there are loads, I chanced to come one which could be borrowed by My Psychic Toolbox. A bit of reworking here and there, and it could work.

With lashings of enthusiasm I copied and pasted the synopsis into my PT workfolder.

And then like the rain running off our brand new roof and gaily running into our brand new guttering and from thence into our brand new drainpipes, so my mental energies flowed away as well. Why is that? Why can't I do this flippin synopsis!

So I thought I would have a moan into your ear, which always makes me feel better. But: I have managed to get the graphics for the front cover of PT started. They need to show some similarity to PV because they are part of a series of four, possibly five, books.

Blank page up. Into Autoshapes (can't do any posh graphic packages yet) a bit of a play around, and I think it's done, the central graphic that is. I like the way the flowers don't look quite right, sort of a little bit askew. Sort of like me really. And I didn't want to do the usual type of graphics which books of this genre normally have: either a photo of the author, with makeup intact if female, plastered across the front of it, or some etherial theme which would be totally out of place with me.

The beauty of self publishing is that one can do what one likes with one's book. The less beautiful aspect is the accompanying frustration when one's mental faculties won't co-operate.

Ok. So moan over.

Things I have learnt: ?

Things I have NOT learnt: How to find those words which are at the moment being elusive.

Things I HOPE to learn: everything!

Cheerio for now, and wishing you much joy and happiness, and oodles of creativity in whatever it is you are creating.

Trying to find the synopsis words

2009-12-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

From out of Psychic Virgin came My Psychic Toolbox. Having unexpectedly arrived at 130,000 words when I thought I would only write 5, I had to shave off some of the content of Psychic Virgin. Hence Book Two. Not so hard to write, most of it was done last winter (2009). Then it was left. Not a bad thing to do because it allows the book to 'cook'. Not as difficult to write either because the book is about how I work, what happens to me psychically, rather than how I arrived at being me.

So, book more or less done. Another read through, checking for typos which is like going fishing: you stand on the bank dangling your rod hoping for a 'catch', so I sit at the PC grazing through the words hoping to catch some typoes. Like fishing, it can be tedious at times if you don't 'catch' anything! Anyway, done this. Almost ready to upload to Lulu.com. The site will automatically convert it to Pdf format and download it back to me within minutes. Then I have to check that all is as it should be on the page: page numbering running seamlessly through, headers left and right where they should be and saying what they are supposed to be saying, same gap between headers and top lines, does the page itself look reasonably balanced, and so on. Loads of things to watch out for. Still, there will be plenty of things which slip through, so I put a note on one of the front pages that this is a 'cottage industry type book which means that I have done all the work on it myself. Therefore please forgive any typos that have escaped the net and any layout errors that have done the same'. That is all I can do for the reader: just explain that this is a homemade book.

Now onto the front section of the book. Easy this time. All I did was copy over Psychic Virgin's entry pages, then change the words relevant to My Psychic Toolbox. And a word here: I really would like to get on to other books, and would love to have a bash at a novel. All this writing about me can be tedious, especially because I don't want the books to be about how clever I am: they are supposed to help and inspire others to develop psychically if they want to. But these books need to be got out of the way before I get on to more interesting things. They need to be done!

BUT: I'm stuck. The b********y synopsis again! PV's synopsis took loads of re-writes and re-writes and re-writes before I let it go. Even now I don't really regard it as finished, but the book is done so no more fiddling about with it. The main question was: how serious do I make the synopsis, or should I make it funny, or spout off about what a clever and talented person I am in which case I would bin the book anyway. So I chose the route of funny. But then that is what you need to do with life: remember the funny bits and forget the rest, not take life too seriously.

AND: up against a wall I am now jammed. Synopsis time again. How to encapsulate a book of 70,000 words into 250 and 500. One for the back cover and Lulu's sale's pages, the second for the Introduction in the first section. Into avoidance mode I have gone. I get onto PC with good intent. An hour or so later time to go do something else away from the PC, having checked and responded to emails, looked at blog to do any responses to people who have left comments my thinking being that if someone can take the time to leave some words then I must make the time to respond back, onto Internet to have a browse at the newspapers, maybe YouTube for a bit of a fish around if I am really into avoidance mode.

THE OUTCOME: No synopsis! I am now getting cross at myself. Nothing coming out of my head. No 'lead in' words. No inspiration. But a thought has popped in: skim read MPT, lifting out certain phrases which leap out of the page at me. Make a note of them. Then use them as the scaffolding of the synopsis. Will let you know how I get on!

Meanwhile, my head is devoid of words and to sleep my creative faculties have gone. Maybe because it is cold here in our patch of the world, and hibernation time is upon us. Hope your head is being more obligingly active for you, and leaving you with the thought that writing has got to be a passion if one is going to put the hours of work in that is required to get those words out of one's head. Of course, one has got to find those words in one's head, often they will play hide-and-seek and refuse to be found, hence my early start today to see if I can find them. Singing 'I CAN write that synopsis, I can WRITE that ******* synsopsis, I can, I can I CAN', I am off to have a go.

The long and long hours

2009-12-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes writing is sheer hard work for me. Most times really. Because I am someone who can't plan what I am going to write, but instead have to wait for a line or two of thought to pop in which then gives me a start point.

Even then I don't have a clue as to what is going to happen when I switch on my PC ready to uptake the journey from that start point. The words arrive in my head or they don't, depending on whether I can stop myself from concentrating too hard on what I think I ought to write. All that happens if I do is that the words on the page are stilted, uncrafted, ordinary.

For me to write I have to have an empty head. Because the words come from a part of my mind which is a separate self, a self I didn't know I had until recently, although I did have a glimmer of that secret self when I was in my early forties, but I closed the door to it because it felt too big and I was intimidated by the hugeness of that self.

I had to travel nearly twenty years on before I could cope with this self. Just before sixty I thought I would let that door open again, and coming forth from the secret self was the scaffolding for my first book, Psychic Virgin.

For hours and hours I struggled between what I thought I ought to write which was when I was under the influence of my conscious self, as opposed to what was right to write which was when the secret self was speaking to me, from my subconscious.

Writing for me is difficult because I have to have an empty head. To try and fill a page with words when the empty head is not empty enough and so blocks the word flow is a waste of time. All I do is sit and look at the blank page for a while then go fiddle about on Youtube or browse the web. Of late I go browsing over my fellow blogger's recent posts, which is the best of activities to do when my secret self is trying to get it's voice heard, because of the inspiration to keep going that it gives me. I love being globally networked with people in other countries, all sharing their worlds.

The long and long hours of endeavour it takes to create the pages of a book when the head has to be devoid of any thought so the words can properly come from that other place in one's head is the most awesome task imaginable. But what it does is create a book that when read in its published form reads like one has not actually written it all. And that is a curious effect of writing from an empty head: that when one re-reads what one has written it reads like someone else has written it! Amazing!

So if you want to craft words on a page, no matter if it is 200, 500, 10,000 or 100,000 words, try seeing if you can stop organising the words, and then let you own secret self speak for you.

The long and long hours of writing endeavour are not easy for me, because of needing to keep my mind empty so that other self will speak. With practice you can do the same.

Good luck with your writing.

Off we go!

2009-12-11T23:11:00.000-08:00

New blog, first post. Where shall I start! Perhaps to say that I never had the slightest intention of being a writer but that it is something which has sort of happened along the way. Now I am hooked and must write. If I don't, then I get miserable!

I had my first outpouring of writing at 40. Went on a long distance foot path walk in the UK when it was not the done thing for women to do such things. Got back home. "What to do now?" was my thinking. Message came into my head from Upstairs Crew: write about the walk. Crikey that was hard. Took a year. Off to publishers. Rejected. Filed book away. Never was going to write again.

A while later, and I sort of 'sicked up' the start of a novel. A spooky one of all things. Did a few pages. Put that away as felt intimidated about the project. A few pages of another book popped into my mind. This was a funny one. Made me laugh as I wrote it. Put that away as well, mostly because of my chaotic personal life and my hectic psychic development pathway.

Onto a Writers Workshop. Loads of writing experience got here. Had to learn how to write 200 word, 500 word or even 50 word stories. Great door opener for me. Stopped though after a while because of what my life was getting up to.

And so it came to be my early fifties. Coming out of a 'reading' (I channel help and guidance from the Upstairs Crew to people whose lives are in a jumble) the words "Your first book will be about yourself" was spoken into my head. Quite a surprise that was. And "Not likely" was my response back. Not for one minute was I ever going to write about myself. I didn't consider myself interesting enough, neither was I particularly fussed about going back into my past history, and anyway, who was going to be bothered to read it, what benefit would they get from it. So I binned the message. I was not going to write out myself.

However, the thought would bubble to the surface now and again. It would not be let go. So I pondered upon a possible title. "Perhaps 'The Reluctant Medium' would be the best one", I thought, because I never expected to become a psychic craftswoman in the first place, so IF I was ever going to write about myself then that is what the title of the book would be.

So I came to my 59th birthday. Out walking my dog in the local woods, and it came to me that I really needed to get the thing written and out of the way. I had loads of other book titles now in the pipeline, all given to me at odd moments from the Upstairs Crew, and I was longing to get onto writing them. This first book was blocking my way to those other books.

SInce I was going to be 60 the following year, it seemed a good time to do this task.

And so I started. But where to start! All of my past was a tangled pile of memories. Where to pick up the threads of those memories, that was my first task. So I made a huge chart, writing down the years from when I was first born to now. Then I started filling in those years. Not easy, as I realised the book was going to be double stranded: how I got to become a psychic after never expecting to be one, and how I finally got to meet and be successful with my soul partner after thinking I never would.

Having to sift out those memories was painful sometimes. Revisiting times which I thought had been dumped on the 'out pile' was hard. And often wondering how the hell I managed to cope with all that was happening.

The book started to read like a 'I did this, and then that, and this happened'. No-one was ever going to find this interesting. Still, I had had that message to write about my life so that is what I kept to.

Came to one evening, having finally managed 30, 000 words, and I thought I would look on Amazon to see if the title had already been taken. It had. Which gave me permission to promptly terminate the project. Obviously the Upstairs Crew had been playing games with me. And with relief I grabbed at the chance to bin the project.

Next morning: Onto my PC to do a trawl over the Internet to find a knitting wool provider, and bang! Crashing into my head came the words: Psychic Virgin. Oh crikey, crikey, crikey! With absolute certainty I knew that this was the book title. That the book was still ongoing. Oh crikey, crikey, crikey! And now all of those 30,000 words had to be dumped because they didn't fit the title and I had to start again. Weeks of work. All dumped.

And that new title, which I was shy about saying out loud even to myself let alone other people, gave me an Everest of a challenge. Two years it took me, during which I learnt how to write a book. How sit through those long hours when there was nothing in my head. How to enjoy the creative flow when the words were outpouring. How to be patient with hidden memories were being revisited. How to create an interesting narrative: not to be too miserable when writing about the difficult times, but to find something funny to break the mood of the writing up. How to make the page look interesting without cramming the page with too much text. Breaking rules of grammar when necessary, but keeping to them most of the time. Not repeating myself to often. FInding different ways of saying the same thing to make the stop 'reading boredom' creeping in. Keeping the theme of the book going, meanwhile intertwining the two separate elements of personal and psychic. How to be patient as the words built up and up and up, finally to 120,000 words.

And then the long process of re-writes, ruthlessly cutting out that which was irrelevant. Chunks were cut, some of which have gone in to other books in what has now become a series of five books. I got the final tally of words down to 100,000 words.

A publisher said they would take it if I cut it down to 60,000 words. This was not do-able because then the book wouldn't make sense. I would have to have taken out one half of the two themes of the book, and that would have lost the reason why it was written in the first place. So I left the book alone for a while. Moved to France.

And then it was time to get it back out again, and self publishing became the option I took. And another Everest sized challenge as I grappled with learning how to format a book, to make the pages look reasonably professional. Then how to design a book cover. Then getting the book back from Lulu (the self publishing company I used) and seeing it in the flesh.

So I put it away again. For a while. When I felt brave enough I started to read Psychic Virgin and the curious thing was that it didn't feel like I had written it at all but that someone else had! However I was still the one who had to go through it thoroughly to do some more tidying up and re-edits. Three times I have had to go through this process. Now it is done.

I am sure that a professional publisher would find loads of errors, but I have done my best. This is a 'cottage industry' book and as such will have parts in it which aren't quite right.

But most of all, writing it has truly opened the writing pathway. I have learnt how to write and how to self publish, and I am quite proud of myself for uptaking these challenges.

And I started this blog off to hopefully inspire others to have a go themselves. Not to boast about having written a book. Not to hope that people will buy the book. Not to flaunt myself as being better than anyone else. No, the reason why this book was written and why I have started this blog is to act as inspiration to others who might be thinking of doing the same.